osobigbear

osobigbear:

I can’t believe i am the only person amazed that we are ON A BIG ASS BALL FLOATING IN NOTHING….CIRCLING AN EVEN BIGGER BALL MADE OF FUCKING FIRE. Chillin with other balls of varying sizes iN a cluster fuck WITH TRILLIONS  OF OTHER BALLS OF GASES, ROCKS, AND FIRE! CIRCLING AN EVEN BIGGER BIG ASS HOLE THAT CAN SUCK HELLA IMPOSSIBLE SHIT INTO IT! You can’t make that up, please try and make up something that ridiculous!

hey-there-sexy
  • *hears noises at night*: well this is it this is the end for me I had a good life
  • *gets shampoo in my eyes*: I guess I'm blind now how am I ever going to see my first born child
  • *heart is beating fast*: I think I am having a heart attack is this what cardiac arrest is
  • *a cop walks by*: here I go about to get arrested I probably murdered someone
  • *taking a test*: don't take your eyes off of this paper you will get caught cheating and get kicked out of school and amount to nothing
  • *gets a sunburn*: great now I have skin cancer how will I tell my parents
  • *tripping over something*: I guess my leg will have to be amputated why did this happen to me
  • *period is late*: shit i'm pregnant i'm the next virgin mary